i'll be praying for you.
till this minute, this second, i still can't allow myself the face the fact that she's gone. i regretted standing so far away when i actually knew she was dead, lying there alone. i didnt even have the guts to go up to her, and pat her. i feel so useless, i thought i loved her alot, i thought i could do anything for her. and in the end, i couldnt even be brave and go up to her.
the place where she died, i haven't went near it yet. i couldnt bring myself to. i can't stop thinking about her, unless i find something to do. i thought i was alright, i have stopped crying since ytd night, when i was out at amk with my mum to watch harry potter. adn i didnt know i was so weak. met my auntie, and she said she wanted to talk to me about feifei, and i broke down immediately.
i think i just need some time to forget about this, but i doubt that it's possible. she will always be inside my heart. it's impossible to forget all those happy moments we spent together. her pitiful face when she did something wrong and wanted something to eat. like what all my aunties and cousins have said, i just hope she's feeling better now, for she's not suffering any longer. i love you, forever.
maybe, i have to talk about happier things to cheer myself up.
i had my gymnastics competition on wednesday, and i am really happy that i didn't disappoint myself. this four years of training, with the school looking down on us, disapproval for everything we did, i am really glad we were able to go through it. i didnt fall at all for my beam, and that's a great achievement for me. and as for my floor, it's good enough since i got 5.25. at least i didnt forget my routine, and i actually got the highest score k! lol. and my vault, i was reall happy cos i was able to jump over it on my own. i couldnt do it in sch, and it was the same when i was practising just before the competition. i cried when i jumped over it on my second try! cos my first was really a total disaster. =D
what's next, racial harmony day on friday! we got to wear ethnic costume! it was really fun, and i guess images speak louder than texts! :)
ta-da! here's miss shirlynn! ^^
the ever so pretty clar! (:
and there's ME! haha.
my lovely jac! <3
jiaying and me(: pretty in pink!
2 chinese, 2 indians and 1 s'porean. lol.
cheese(:
shir's that Ah Fu in Doraemon! lol
chenying and jac. odd pic. lol
pretty, but nt successful! =(
always ready for the cam~!^^
the 5 pretties<3
(:
guess who's who? lol.
jac the white indian like bird head curry! haha^^
WAH~ look, what's that!
Oh, you thinking what i thinking?
WOW! it's 4e3. the you know, the smartest, prettiest, cutest cheeling's class!
fine, that's lame. self entertainment needed to lift my mood. (:
&still trying to find a happy ending